Damnit

In the midst of moving, I packed away the book I have all my poetry written in. I'm not even sure where to look for it right now. When I do find it. I will definitely put a blog for it.

on a sidenote. I hate moving. Even though I know we will be moving one more time this year. Then hopefully not for a long while after that. this last move was really last minute and kind of unexpected, we literally decided to move and finshed moving within 3 weeks. Holy crap has life been kind of hectic the last month. But we made it, that is all that matters, right?

I will update more soon.

I miss it

So, when I was a teenager, miserably happy. I use to write poetry. I was quite good at it. Then I met J and I lost the will. I don't know if I wrote because it was my only release, because I was lonely and had craptastic parents, or what exactly stemmed my writing abilities. I do know that I miss having that release, no matter how hard I try, I can't do it. My mind isn't in the right place for it I guess.

I am thinking of putting all my poetry in a blog. Just because I don't have it saved anywhere. I don't want to lose it. What if it burnt up in a fire? I would never have them again.

I honestly don't think anyone reads this blog, but it's here, take it or leave it.

A promise to myself

Since 2010 is now amoung us. I have decided to make a promise to myself. Let's just hope that, in the end, it doesn't end up being broke. Because honestly. I have a hard time sticking to anything. This is something I am really going to work at. Give it my all and keep on top of. Is it sad that I can't depend on myself enough to know that I will follow through with it.

Well here it goes. I am promising to myself, that I will save as much money as I can within the next 6 months. I havent evaluated what we will be able to put into savings yet Once I do that. I will develop a master plan and a set dollar amount to have in my bank about by July first. Yes, I know that is the 7th month of the year, but we have some priorities that need to be taken care of before this can happen.

I have always sucked at saving money. We went into this winter with little to no reserve or savings account knowing that J's job would be slowing down. Yes, we've been in some tough spots the last couple of months. But we are now in a better place and position to put money away and be prepared for next winter.

We recently moved, to help us save money. It is a whole hell of a lot cheaper than what we were doing before. This will help us pay down some debt and get back on our feet. Where we will be more comfortable. Digging yourself a financial hole is no fun. Especialy when the reprecussions finally come kick you in the ass. Both J and I have learned our lessons. We are adjusting to living moer frugally and saving money instead of wanting to spend every extra dime we make.

I am excited for the new year. I hope that it brings all of us more luck and fortune.

So, yeah!

I really suck at blogging,I really don't have that interesting of stories to tell. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with this. I am pretty sure I only have 2 people that read it. So that leaves me with, why? I think I keep it around for an outlet. Somewhere to complain. I honestly couldn't tell you. But that's alright. It's like a public journal I don't have to worry about anyone reading. Which has it's ups and downs. I can say anything, but who's here to read it?

I can't believe that 2009 is almost over. Just 3 short days in this year. Then 2010 brings a whole new year. A time to get back on track, figure things out. Put some money back into savings. We've had quite the financial struggle this past year. We always survived, even if not by much. We're all still alive and kicking. That is what matters most.

My boys are all wonderful. Wyatt is getting bigger and smarter everyday. He likes to test us. He is 3 afterall. Caleb is getting huge and he is the super cute stage where he plays, laughs and is almost crawling. I can't beleive it. Not too much longer.

So I leave with this. Just a little update I suppose

Remembering the last year

since 2009 is almost over, I figured I would do the obligatory remembrence post.

The things I appreciate that have happened over the last year, first off. In February, I met my very best friend becca, 2nd I gave birth to my son in June, August my Wyatt turned 3 and we also celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. I would say it has been a decent year. Yes, we had our ups and downs, but who doesn't?

The down falls, 5 amazing women I "know", lost their babies. All too soon, it has been extremely heart breaking to see these wonderful, beautiful amazing women suffer through the loss of a child. I hope that I am never put in that position. I can't say that I ever will be but I know I don't want to be. I respect each one of them with my entire being. I don't know if I could hold the composure and strength they do.

I know that 2010 brings some luck, maybe a little bit of fortune. We shall see though. Maybe I should pick up a couple of powerball tix.

Nook vs. Kindle. The faceoff begins.

So I have the option for instant grafitication of getting the kindle now, or waiting until Feb 1st when the Nook will ship again. Both are E-Readers. I love love love to read. It is my favoritest thing to do ever. It is my relaxation, my escape from reality. Why not have one little tiny machine instead of having books lying around, all over the place.

This is one of my many dilemmas right now. First, is the fact that I need to get off my arse and pack some more. MOVING.SUCKS.

thankful

Be thankful for what you have, for who you have in your life. Unexpected things happen everyday. So are extraordinary and some sorrowful.

I sit here and think about my boys, I am so lucky to have the babies that I do. Even though they test me on a daily basis. somedays even make me want to rip my hair about. Regardless I love them both dearly.

I am in constant thought of baby Jillian and her mom and dad. They are all so strong. Baby Jillian was born at 24 weeks due to premature rupture of membranes, which basically means moms water broke. She is doing ok, has her ups and downs. She was just born a couple of days ago. Jillian mom and dad have a long road ahead of them.

If you pray, leave room for them, if not, please keep them in your thoughts.