He can roll if he wants too!

You say, who can roll? Caleb, that's who! Last night we layed the sleepy, cute little munchkin on his back at all bed time. This morning, we find munchkin sleeping happily on his tummy! Then I brought him out to the living room, layed in on the floor for a couple minutes, while I made his bottle. What do I see him do? Roll from his back to his belly! Yay, I finally saw a first. So exciting. He will be crawling and mobile before I know. I'm in trouble now! Rut Roh!

Acceptance

It is one thing to feel accepted by a group of people, but feel like no one notices you at all. To crave that feeling of friends and support. knowing that someone is there for you no matter what you have going on in life.

It's been a long time since I've been accepted, I wish I was accepted by more people. I don't see that happening in the near future. Is it sad to say that I really only have one friend that cares enough to spend the day with me? Well at least one that's close enough to spend the day with me. I appreciate her more than anyone can know. Even if we just sit there and talk about nothing. She's still spending the day with me, that is what I love

I don't know what's happened in the last few years, but I have seemed to push away all of my friends. I don't know if it has happened because of the anti-social man I married that likes to do nothing more than sit on his ass and be obsessed with the TV, or if I have become just like him.

I am constantly exhausted, I have the excuse of an infant and a toddler, but they can't always be the blame. It's because all I do is sit on my fatass and watch TV. I have hardly any physical activities. I don't because I am always exhausted. that's just the way it is. I know there are things I can do about it, but the motivation just isn't there. Not one fucking bit. I don't have the support I need to get out and do things. I need someone there to kick my ass and make me get up and do it.

Happy

Happy, could it explain what I am? Maybe. Well, actually yes. I am happy that I have a friend to hang out with again. Someone to call my BFF. Someone I can talk to about pretty much anything. It has been such a long time since I've had this. It feels great. Euphoric. I just wanted to express this. The end!

Purging of the clothes

I guess there is a time in everyones life, where you just have to do it. To go through the dreaded closet and drawers to get rid of clothes that are worn out and don't fit anymore. also, most likely will never fit again.
I really need to do this, but I am afraid that when all is said and done, I will have 2 pair of jeans and about 5 shirts that really fit me. It will make reality hit me hard, that yes, I am a fatass and everyone else knows it but me.

There is also a time when enough is enough, and I have to start eating healthier and working out again. It is so hard to change your diet when this one is all you've known for, I don't know how long. I must do it, for my health, for my children and for my husband. so that I can stop downing myself and finally, for once in a very long time. Feel good about myself. It has been a long time since I have felt good about myself. In all truth, it has been about 10 years. The last time I felt good about myself is when I was 15 years old. When I was in shape and thin(ner) than I am now.

so i am making a promise to myself that I will go through and purge clothes and that I will get my ass back on track, and get in shape again.

The Pumpkin Patch

Every year, around Halloween we have a local ranch that opens it pumpkin patch (well they get pumpkins shipped in from somewhere else). Today, we went for visit with the boys. There's a few things to do, mainly just a little petting zoo and hay rides. and of course, the pumpkin patch. We went just to go somewhere. Took Wyatt in the petting zoo, which he loved. They give you an ice cream cone filled with grain for the animals. Which the animals attack you for. One of the calfs stole Wyatt's ice cream cone right out of his hand.

Have you ever let a cow lick your hand? It is amazingly....disgusting. Their tounges feel like a wet sandpaper. I did this for the first time today. It was unpleasant, to say the least. This cow was gigantic. But he was cute.

I love fall, except for the cold weather, but the foilage is beautiful. I really don't like raking the leaves up the next spring either, because we got about 10 trees in our tiny but big for the suburbs backyard.
I need to update this blog more often, but I haven't got anything to talk about half the time.

gotta love my little boy

Even when he wakes up at 130 in the morning, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Then decides to stay awake til 430am. Yes, this was Caleb and I last night, I fed him at 130, put him back to bed, he then commences the sqeauling, which I am surprised didn't wake up his big brother. He was laughing, jibber jabbering non sense, as happy as can be. I have to say I am glad he was a happy baby awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night.

Happy 4 Month Birthday

I can't believe you're 4 months old already. It doesn't seem possible. I love you with all my heart, as well as big brother and daddy. They love you too. You are an amazing little boy, my heart swells with joy everytime you smile at me. When you look right at me and make your little coo baby noises, like we're having a conversation. Your laugh melts my heart.
Just know that you are so loved, by everyone. I wouldn't trade you for anything. I am so blessed to have you and Wyatt.
These last 4 months have been hard but absolutely amazing.

Where have the last 17 weeks went?

I cannot believe that Caleb is almost 4 months old. Monday marks that day. It's amazing, he's amazing. I love him so much. I love when he smiles, coo's and just chatters. I love when he smiles at Wyatt, he loves his big brother. Even though big brother is a little too rough with him quite frequently.

My boys are amazing. Both of them. I think Wyatt will be a football player and Caleb a basketball player. I am banking on both of them to be my retirement lol. NFL and NBA here we come. The Yourston brothers are going to take them by storm. Talk about getting your socks knocked off.

Caleb has his 4m appointment on the 20th, I will update his stats at that time.